Here's Why You May Want To Avoid Talking About Work & Money On The First Date
You've been swiping on dating apps, and you found a match who you're ready to meet up with (yay!). Whether you meet online or in person, first dates are always nerve-racking. You worry about what to wear, where to go, and what to talk about. You're scared about making a bad impression, but try not to sweat it too much — your date is probably just as nervous as you are.
There's no rule book for exactly what to say or do, but having some questions ready in your head may help you feel a bit more prepared. Of course, there's the obvious, off-limits questions, like asking about their exes or "What's your favorite position?" But there are other first date topics up for debate that are less raunchy and yet still considered inappropriate to bring up so early on. Among the mistakes to avoid on a first date, asking about work and money may be one of them.
Work and money talk may drain the energy
While it's okay to ask your date what they do, you don't want the whole conversation to revolve around work. "This will bring up visions of an irritating coworker and ruin the energy of your date," professional matchmaker Susan Trombetti tells PureWow. After all, a date should be a fun time away from work. This is especially true if work is a big source of stress and if either of you is unhappy in your workplaces. You don't want the date to feel like an interview.
The same goes for money. Though it's an important topic when relationships get more serious, you don't need to know your date's salary, credit score, or budget when you first meet them. Asking more broad questions about their upbringing or favorite things to do may already reveal some information about their money habits without steering the conversation exclusively towards finances and salaries.
What should you talk about instead?
So, what should you talk about on a first date? Rather than talking about boring day-to-day work tasks and stressors, maybe talk about each other's aspirations. Try to ask thoughtful questions that will spark connection. Ask your date about what makes them happy — their hobbies, passions, friends, and family. What kind of music do they like? What's their favorite movie or television show? What makes them excited? Ask how their year has been so far and if they have any exciting plans. You'll likely have some things in common that don't revolve around work and money.
If you really are interested in their job, try to ask about their aspirations and dreams rather than bringing up salaries and budgets right away. Remember, there's often a lot more to someone than their current job. Bringing up work may be good if you truly love what you do and are passionate about it, but if either of you dislike your jobs and end up complaining throughout the date, this may bring the mood down, so always tread with caution.
Above all else, go with the flow, and try to stay present. You'll be on your way to that second date in no time.